Earlier this year, I met someone in Hong Kong that very quickly became a trusted friend. It was the typical bar scene, with plenty of people chatting and making new acquaintances, but there was something different about this interaction - something I couldn't really define at the time.

A few days later I left Hong Kong with a mental note about a quote that person had brought up at some point during our discussions. It was from Paulo Coelho, a famous writer of whom I had only heard before.

“In life, a person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant. The builders might take years over their tasks, but one day, they finish what they're doing. Then they find that they're hemmed in by their own walls. Life loses its meaning when the building stops.

Then there are those who plant. They endure storms and all the vicissitudes of the seasons, and they rarely rest. But unlike a building, a garden never stops growing. And while it requires the gardener's constant attention, it also allows life for the gardener to be a great adventure.

Gardeners always recognize each other, because they know that in the history of each plant lies the growth of the whole World.”

 - Paulo Coelho -

Having had time to reflect on that quote and my own attitude, I realize that over the past year or so I started moving from the building to the growing mind-set. It's interesting how sometimes those changes only become apparent in hindsight and despite not knowing what the exact lessons learned are, one starts to change behaviour instinctively.

I'm led to believe that because I am still an engineer at heart, the transition from building to gardening is more difficult than for some of the more "free spirited"-people I met in my live. But that may just be a convenient excuse.

I have spent the past 10 years building. I was very dedicated to finish everything I started, to build the best possible solution to any potential problem, to move forward and upward. And every time a set goal was achieved, I felt empty. There was satisfaction about the achievement, of course. Or maybe it was satisfaction from being acknowledged for achieving something. Either way, the next day I had to start something new to keep going - or to fill the emptiness.

Having had very inspiring people around me in the past few years, but particularly in the past 10 months, allowed me to realize that pursuing one goal after the other without having a greater feeling of purpose would not lead to happiness. In other words, by keeping to build one does give up the opportunity to plant. I can't say that I have found all the answers to the big purpose question yet (which is basically what this is all about). But I did learn by now that those answers will not be static. Having a purposeful and happy life is a continuous process - like growing a garden.

I now understand what was different about that interaction in Hong Kong. It was two gardeners who recognized each other.